TEACH YOUR CHILD HUMILITY

• WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

In recent decades, parents have been encouraged to yield to their children's desires; to praise them generously, even if they did nothing praiseworthy; to withhold correction and discipline. It was thought that if children were made to feel special, they would grow up with healthy self-esteem. But what have the result shown? The book Generation Me States: "instead of creating well-adjusted, happy children, the self-esteem movement has created an army of little narcissists."

Many children raised with unconditional praise have grown up unprepared for disappointments, criticism, and occasional failure. Because of being taught to focus on their own desires, they find it hard as adult to form lasting relationships. As a result, many of them suffer from anxiety and depression.

Children develop real self-worth, not by being constantly told that they are special, but through genuine accomplishments, that requires more than just believing themselves. They need to learn, practice, and refine chosen skills carefully.( Proverbs 22:29) They also need to care about other people's needs. (1 Chorinthians 10:24) All of this requires humility.

• WHAT YOU CAN DO

Give praise when it is truly deserved. If your daughter scores well on a school test, commend her. If she gets a low mark, do not automatically blame the teacher. That would hardly help your daughter learn humility. Instead, help her to see how she may do better next time, Reserve praise for actual accomplishments.

• Give correction when necessary.

This does not mean that you should criticise your child for every mistake. (Colossians 3:21) But serious errors should be corrected. The same can be said about wrong attitudes. Otherwise, these may become more deeply ingrained.

For example, suppose your son is showing a tendency to brag. Un corrected, he could become conceited and begin to alienate others. So explain to your child that boasting makes him look bad and that it could set him up for embarrassment. (Proverbs27:2) Explain, too, that a person with balanced view of himself does not feel the need to broadcast his abilities to others. By giving such correction in the spirit of love. You will teach him humility without hurting his self respect. (Mathew 23:12) for Bible principles.

• Prepare your child for life's realities.

Indulging a child every wish can cause

him to feel entitled. So for example, if your child wants something you cannot afford, explain why it is necessary to live within a budget. If you have to cancel an outing or vacation, you could explain that disappointments are part of life and perhaps discuss how you deal with such disappointments. Rather than shield your children from every hardship, prepare them for the challenges they will face as adults. (Proverbs 29:21) Bible principle.

Encourage giving.

Prove to your child that "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving, " (Acts 20:35) How? Together you might prepare a list of people in need of help with shopping, transportation, or repair work. Then take your child along as you assist some of them. Allow your child to see your joy and satisfaction as you care for the needs of others. That way you will teach your child humility in the most powerful way--by example (Luke6:38) Bible principle

• THE CHALLENGES PARENTS FACE

¤Your son or daughter is behaving arrogantly -and he or she is only ten!

¤ He/She expects everyone to treat him/her as special.

What has got into him/her? You wonder, 'I want him /hee to feel good about him/herself -but not to think that he/she is better than everyone else!